Fandom: Naruto/Pirates of the Caribbean
Characters: Hatake Kakashi, Maito Gai, Tsunade, Shizune, Captain Jack Sparrow, Gibbs
Summary: Sequel to Kinsmen, which is a sequel to Nina's When in Fiji, a.k.a. "The Cracktastick Crack in Which Hatake Kakashi Meets Jack Sparrow."
Notes: Make sure you read the other two first.
Late in the afternoon, Kakashi took a break from his part on Konoha's rebuilding and looked up at the man sitting on top of one of the surviving trees; he was just there, bathing in the sun, his eyes lost somewhere in the horizon, drinking his rum as if nothing else would ever matter...
In short, it was as if Jack didn't know —or didn't care— that a whole village-worth of ninjas weren't exactly happy with him.
Gai walked by the tree, carrying some wood and nails. He paused a moment to glare at Jack
Usually, the one being glared at that way by Gai felt his skin burning and either ran away or started a fight. The pirate did neither. He just smiled and waved his hand friendly toward the ninja.
Gai left while mumbling, "Why won't the Godaime kick him away?"
That was a good question. Kakashi scratched his head and tried to figure out a reason for Tsunade to allow Jack to linger around after what had happened. There weren't a lot of people who could destroy a ninja village and live to tell the tale. Specially if they weren't ninjas themselves nor have any special skills —and the only skill Jack could brag about was having a good throat. And an awful amount of luck, of course, but it didn't really count since it was just... luck.
Kakashi had already come to terms with the idea that Konoha's destruction had happened out of luck. Bad luck, but still luck.
There had been no way Jack knew about Rock Lee's problem with alcohol. But, on the other hand —and Gai was completely right about this—, what in the world was Jack thinking when he gave liquor to a kid?
Kakashi sighed. Either way, Jack was a pirate, and pirates weren't exactly famous because of their high moral standards.
And, on the plus side, now they knew that rum was better —worse— than sake if they ever needed to bring forward Lee's inner... beast.
"So, that's why Gai and Lee call themselves that!" Kakashi muttered as he picked up his hammer again. "Now, why Blue and Green—?"
"Kakashi!" he heard suddenly behind him.
Kakashi turned around and saw Gai dragging Shizune behind him; he held her wrist tightly. For the span of a second, Kakashi contemplated to make a joke about threesomes, but Gai's face prevented him against that. Whatever Gai was worried about, was serious.
"It's the Godaime!" Gai said. He turned to Shizune. "Tell him, please!"
Shizune nodded and told Kakashi what Tsunade had planned for the evening.
Kakashi's hammer nearly slipped from his fingers.
"Godaime, you can't!" Gai said. He had his fist clinched and his eyebrows trembled. His whole self was trembling,
"Tsunade-sama, please, listen!" Shizune said.
"Don't worry; there's no way this'll go wrong," Tsunade said, winking, and walked toward the table where Jack Sparrow was waiting for her; as she moved, she showed to be suffering from some intoxication herself.
"You can't go on with this," Kakashi whispered in Jack's ear.
"Mate, this is for the greater good," Jack replied, and added between his teeth, "My greater good."
"I'm serious, Jack. If you win, you won't leave Konoha on your feet."
"Are you threatening me?" Jack turned on his chair to face Kakashi, looking quite scandalized.
"I'm not threatening you, I'm warning you." Kakashi pointed at Gai, whose speech was getting rougher and rougher at every word.
Jack blinked. "Oh. I see. Still, there's honor involved, mate. The lady's honor. And that's a lot of honor." Jack's eyes were suddenly glued to Tsunade's approaching middle section.
"Jack, we're ninjas, not samurais."
"Besides, the boy's ability is my finding—"
"It's not; we already knew."
"—and it's only fair that I get something as a reward."
"It is not. Can't you two bet something else?"
"It'll be good for him! Fresh air! The beautiful sea! The endless horizon!" Jack's palms opened toward Kakashi and moved around, as if they were trying to paint the marvels their owner was talking about. "And, most importantly, an assured payment and a position in my ship as a weapon— Cabin boy! I mean cabin boy, of course!" Jack held up his pinky and smiled showing all of his bad teeth. "Your career on the sea is guaranteed if you begin as a cabin boy. I should know about it."
"Tsunade-sama!" Shizune claimed. "You cannot bet Konoha's people!"
"I am not going to lose!" Tsunade said, finally sitting down.
"You won't lose because it won't happen!" Gai said.
"It'll happen and I'll win a pirate crew!"
"What do you want a pirate crew for, Tsunade-sama?" Shizune growled.
Kakashi hit his forehead with his hand. "Gai's right; this won't happen." He took the card deck away from the table. Before Tsunade could say something, he added, "Captain Jack Sparrow doesn't have a crew. He had two turtles when I met him and even those ran away."
"They didn't 'ran away'," Jack said with a dignified voice. "I set them free. There's a difference."
"What? You said you had a crew!" Tsunade said. "That was our bet! Your crew against Rock Lee!"
"I have a crew, my lady! I do have one. They're just not anywhere near this place right at this moment, but—"
"I can't believe this!" Gai took Jack from his jacket and shook him. "I've had enough of your vices that corrupt this village's flame of youth—"
Now the village has one of those? Even if he really wanted to know, Kakashi didn't dare to ask aloud.
"—and now I am going to throw you away!"
And Gai did it.
As Captain Jack Sparrow picked himself up and cleaned his clothes from the road's dust, just before Konoha's door closed, Kakashi heard him muttering, "I'll return when I have my ship back and then we'll gamble."
Many moons later, Gibbs wondered why Jack had asked him if he knew where The Hidden Village of Konoha was.